Sex education begins very early in life… whether parents are involved or not. Self exploration may well begin before birth. If not, then soon after birth-as every observant parent knows. Children are insatiably curious about everything that is different from them. They notice the mole on mother’s face as well as the wart on granddad’s nose. So, why should we think it unusual that they are sexually curious.
One of my favorite cartoons shows a mother about to bathe her two small children. One was a little boy, the other a little girl. As they stood facing each other naked before mother put them in the tub the little girl noticed her brother’s penis. As she reached for it, he shrieked, “Don’t touch it! You broke yours off.”
Eventually, sexual curiosity leads to sexual exploration and discovery. Parental oversight and guidance in this phase of the child’s history is critical to the development of a healthy sexual character that links sexual pleasure in the child’s conscience with the dream of growing up and getting married. When this link is missing the child’s sexual exploration develops a misguided history of sexual experiences from which the child’s sexual preferences eventually emerge. As the child’s sexual explorations continue without any parental involvement, the child is left to feel that their sexual curiosity cannot be shared with their parents. So, the child’s sexual history proceeds secretly and is likely to be shaped by peers and later by pornographers. Sexual pleasure becomes a goal in itself, with no necessary connection to marriage
By the time parents develop concern about talking to their child about sex the child finds it as embarrassing as the parent does awkward. This discomfort threatens to limit the communication between parents and children about sex. Consequently, parents forfeit the opportunity to shape the sexual conscience of their children.
This is why it is so important for parents to begin a dialogue with their child about sex early in the child’s life… as soon as the child begins to talk. Linking sexual pleasure with the dream of growing up and marrying someone of the opposite sex lessens the chances your child will choose to be homosexual and strengthens the possibility they will see the wisdom of saving sex for marriage. Every loving parent wants to spare their children the long term consequences of poor sexual judgments. The best way to do this is to equip yourself to be the primary sex educators of your children. That’s the purpose of my book,Teaching Your Children the Truth About Sex.”
Questions in the back of the book help parents deal with awkward situations ranging from discovering their child pleasuring himself or herself to finding their adolescents in sexually compromising situations. Throughout the book I suggest ways for parents to talk to their children from the time their children learn the names of their genitals until the children of are in marriages of their own. More information about the book is obtainable from my website: www.drdobbins.com. Copies can be ordered from 330-715-5127. Your comments are encouraged.
