The word masturbation is not in the Bible.  If this activity threatened our eternal salvation, don’t you believe the Holy Spirit would have included it in the Scriptures… at least once!  After all, the Bible does not hesitate to address adultery, homosexuality, beastiality, incest and fornication.

However, the Bible does address the important relationship between sexual fantasy material and sexual excitement.  In Matthew 5:28, Jesus teaches that when a person lusts after another person to whom they are not married they are committing adultery in their heart.

What is the spiritual issue Jesus addresses here?  The issue is allowing other sources to sexually arouse you that are not related to fantasies of marriage before you are married or the body of your spouse after you are married.

Sexual orgasm is one of the most powerful reinforcers brain chemistry provides.  Your brain forms a neurochemical link between whatever stimuli you allow to sexually arouse you to orgasm.  Unfortunately, your brain can sexually respond to a wide variety of stimuli.  When your sexual fantasies stray beyond the dream of marriage before you are married or, your sexual relationships with your marriage partner after you are married, your sexual desires are diverted away from marriage and linked to the sources you have allowed to sexually excite you.  These links are neurochemically reinforced and your ability to control your sexual responses and limit them to marriage and your marriage partner is dangerously weakened.  The variety of stimuli you have allowed to excite you sexually becomes a kind of promiscuity that marriage does not break.

This is why young children should be taught to associate pleasant genital feelings with the dream of growing up and getting married.  As the child becomes older, the parent can explain that this is a way of being true to the person you eventually will be married to.  Notice, the child has not been taught that masturbation is sinful.  They have been taught that genital pleasure and marriage belong together.  They also will learn that as long as they are thinking about how much better these sexual feelings will be when they meet the person they are to marry, they are not doing anything wrong when they sexually pleasure themselves.

After marriage, when circumstances require a husband and wife to be apart they can have a mutual understanding that if they need to release sexual tensions while they are away from each other they can fantasize about each other and still keep orgasm anchored in their marriage.  Then, when they are together again, they can enjoy asking each other, “Did you need to think about me while you were away?”  This allows for complete honesty and transparency in the management of their sexual desires.  While they are apart.

Experiencing genital pleasure begins very early in life.  Before the child starts to school the  wise parent has taught them that sexual pleasure and marital fantasies belong together.  This kind of sexual education in the home provides a parentally approved way for the child to deal with their sexuality without confusing their sexual response with a wide variety of non–marital fantasies.  The child escapes the crippling impact of masturbatory guilt and is prepared to enter marriage with their sexual responses disciplined to react to the body of their spouse within the security of marriage.

 In September 2008, U.S. News and World Report published startling new statistics depicting the increasingly dangerous sexual world of teenagers. By age 19, 75% of our adolescents have had intercourse.  This past year, there were 19 million new cases of  STDs in the United States.  Half of them (9.5 million) involved teenagers.  The most common of these diseases among teenage young women is Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID).  Repetitious bouts with this disease can seriously cripple a young woman’s ability to have children later in life. 

 We are now seeing 750,000 teenage pregnancies a year in the United States.  With the males involved in these pregnancies over 1.5 million teenagers are affected each year.  500,000 of these teenage pregnancies will be ended with abortions.

As you can see, public school sex education is not protecting our young people from the unnecessary complications of poor sexual judgments.  If we are going to reverse this tragedy parents must get involved in the sex education of their children.  It’s easy for parents to assume nothing like this will ever happen to their children.  However, this kind of denial is too dangerous for your children.  This is why I feel so intensely about my program… Parents First: Enabling Parents to Be the Primary Sex Educators of Their Children.  Our goal is to involve parents through the Christian education programs of local churches designed to teach them how to be the primary sex educators of their children.

I think most parents know they should assume this role.  However, since says their parents never talked to them about sex it is awkward for them to approach their children with the subject.  I am committed to putting this program in use  in 1,000 churches by the end on 2009.  If you are a parent or grandparent you need to get invovled in this program.  The future of your children and grandchildren is at risk. To learn how you can help in this mission go to: www.teachparentsfirst.com.

According to an Associated Press story reported 10/10/08 in major newspapers across the country one in four teenage girls are being vaccinated against the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV).  This virus is a potentially deadly Sexually Transmitted Disease that carries the threat of cervical cancer.  Each year, the repetitios surgical treatment for this cancer-causing virus takes from thousands of young women their potential for motherhood. 

Notice, there is no public outcry for parents to sexually educate their children about the sexual risks they are taking when they engage in sexual activities.  In our sexually permissive society it seems easier to provide a vaccine for our children than to keep the from playing sexuaal roulette with their future.

To make matters worse, even though our culture is saturated with sex, the subject remains awkward for parents to discuss with their children.  Perhaps one reason parents find it so difficult to talk to their children about sex is that they are still uncomfortable talking to each other about it.

HPV has risen to epidemic rorportions among our teenaagers.  This is why health officials are recommending that these shots be given to 11 and 12 year old girls.  Think about this!  We continue to create sexal permissiveness in our culture by providing medical cures for its consequences while investing little money, time or energy in efforts to encourage abstinence before marriage and marital fidelity after marriage.

We are confronted with a sexually dangerous world that threatens the future of our children and the destruction of traditional marriage and the family.  Won’t you join me in an effort to reverse this process? My Parents First program is designed to do just that.  You can learn more about it on my website: www.drdobbins.com and my special website: www.teachthetruthaboutsex.com.

The other night, our telephone rang about 1:30 a.m.  The missionary mom on the other end of the line had totally forgotten the time difference between her West Coast home and are East Coast residence. She had just caught her eight-year-old son trying to have intercourse with his three-year-old sister.  At the moment, she was living in Panic City and time zones were not at the top of her priority list.

Until the moment I spoke with her, this mother was totally unaware of the sexual dangers lurking on computers.  Of course, her boy had already been exposed.  However, upon further inquiry she discovered that his main concern had to do with his curiosity about whether or not his penis was of normal size.  I explained to her that male porn stars are carefully selected to make even adult males feel inferior.  Then, I suggested that she do some research on the computer to find appropriate medical site that displayed normal development of male genitals.  I urged her to take advantage of this opportunity to begin a dialogue with her children about sexuality and told her about our Parents First program.  You can see what this program is all about at: www.teachthetruthaboutsex.com

When she shared with her son the developmental chart she had downloaded and explained to him that his genitals would grow as his body grew he was very reassured.  This is a wonderful example of how wise parenst can turn an alarming situation into a teaching moment and establish themselves as the primary sex educators of their children.  Public schools can give children information about sex, but they are for bid by law to couch that information in any moral value system.  Sexual value should be learned in the home.  Be sure your children and your grandchildren understand this.

The frantic mother of a three-year-old boy called me to report that when she was giving her son a bath, hes said to her, “Mommy, I want to put my peepee in your mouth.” As you can imagine, this freaked her out.  I could hear the desperation in her voice as she asked me to help her deal with this.  Immediately, I knew that this three-year-old had been exposed  to pornography.  This had happened while another member of the family was babysitting the three-year-old.  In talking with thes mother who was babysitting they found that a six-year-old boy had discovered how to find pornography on the family computer.  He took pride in sharing with other children what he had discovered on the computer.

It is difficult for parents to realize their children can be sexually damaged so early in life.  Most parents are in complete denial when it comes to acknowledging how sexually dangerous our world is for their children.  Close  parental supervision is a must when it comes to the use of computers by  school age children. 

To learn how you can be more protective of your children and no were they are going when they are using a computer visit: www.teachthetruthaboutsex.com

National surveys have estimated that one in 3 U. S. teens experiences dating abuse at some point during their teens. These incidents range from a slap on the cheek to homicide. Break the Cycle and other advocacy groups say too many states do not treat dating violence with appropriate seriousness. Sheryl Cates, CEO of the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline calls attention to how difficult it is to deal with this challenging issue. “If you’re a parent, you want to know if your child is in danger, but on the other hand, teams won’t be anonymity, to not have to tell their parents,” she said. “It’s very complicated, trying to find a balance between a victims rights and parents right to know.”

Sometimes it is crucial for teens to be able to seek protective orders on their own. They may have strained relations with their parents or come from a home where domestic violence already is occurring.  Kristine Korobov, an attorney with National Center for the Prosecution of Violence against Women, says is important in such instances for courts to provide an attorney or other expert to guide the user through the legal process.

This is further evidence of how sexually toxic our society has become your children. My Parents First Program is designed to help parents begin a dialogue with their children about sex when the child is very young. Opening the subject between parents and children enables parents to provide the protection of information that properly warns young people about the risks of dating violence.  You can learn more about this program at: www.teachthetruthaboutsex.com.

In spite of programs like NBC’s “To Catch a Predator” the number of child predators in the United States is growing faster than law enforcement can keep up with them. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s cyber tip line took 85,301 reports of child porn and 8787 reports of online enticement last year. According to the US Department of Justice, investigations of Internet crimes against children resulted in 3000 arrests nationwide in 2008.

Men who commit these crimes come from all walks of life. You can imagine how surprised a Wisconsin agent wants to discover that the predator he had trapped was a children’s religious teacher in a parochial school.

The world is too sexually dangerous for parents to ignore the the of becoming the primary sex educators of their children. Predators on the Internet are just one sexual threat today’s children face. To learn about the sexual risks in the world of our children and teenagers explore my Parents First program at: www.teachthetruthaboutsex.com. 

The Center for Disease Control took another look at the statistics from an earlier study of 838 teenage girls.  Here is what they found. Only about half of the girls in the study acknowledged having sex. Of course, many teens define having sex as intercourse. However, genital petting and oral sex can spread some diseases.

Among the girls acknowledged having sex 40% had a sexually transmitted disease. The STD rate among the 838 girls in the study was 26%. Applied nationally, this translates to more than 3 million girls.  18% of the girls tested carry the human papilloma virus or HPV. This virus can cause cervical cancer and can be a serious threat to a young woman’s desire to have a baby in the future.

There is no way of knowing how many of these teenage girls came from homes where their parents were able to talk to them about sex. Most parents know they should be the primary sex educators of their children, but because they grew up in homes where their parents did not talk to them about sex, they don’t know how.  This is a need my Parents First is designed to meet. Check it out at: www.teachthetruthaboutsex.com

Last week, teens in Tampa’s Hillsborough High Schoo got a bad case of the giggles as a nude photograph of a male student spread like wildfire across the campus by cell phone. Even though a 15-year-old girl named in the picture from her phone she had been, I still can’t look at him seriously. When I see him in the halls.”

John Steele, a Hillsboro freshman, told Elisabeth Parker a reporter for the St. Petersburg Times, that sending sexy self-portraits is high-tech flirting. He said, “if you can’t see your girl in real life, it’s another way to see her,”

This new rage on campuses is call “sexting.” It is catching the attention of prosecutors across the country who are charging students as young as middle schoolers with child pornography and other felonies.

Last month three Pennsylvania girls, ages 14 and 15, were charged after they sent nude self-portrays to their boyfriends, ages 16 and 17. The boys were charged, too. In Indiana, a middle school boy faces felony obscenity charges for sending a naked photo of himself to a girl. Last week, the Pinellas-Pasco State Atty.’s office in Florida got its first sexting cases involving three teens.

This story again underscores the need Christian parents to get involved with the sex education of their children. My user-friendly Kit makes this possible. You may read about it at: www.teachthetruthaboutsex.com

In the following article CNN reporter Elizabeth Landau shares some shocking results from a recent study of how men respond to photographs of scantily clad women.  Notice, the research makes it clear that men completely dehumanize the women they see in such pictures. 

This is another sad consequence of secularizing sexuality in our society.  Jesus acknowledged this danger when He equated lustful looks at women with adultery.  (Matthew 5:28)  God also urges women to dress modestly…not in sexually provocative ways that arouse men’s passions.  (I Peter 3:3, 4)  When sex is seen as sacred and contained in the context of marriage it produces a bond of pleasure between husband and wife.  This is how God described it to Moses…”and they two shall become on flesh.”  (Genesis 2:24)  However, when it is taken outside of marriage, either before ore after marriage, it produces a bondage to the source that excites a person’s sexual passions.

 

I hope you find this article helpful in stressing the sacredness of marriage and the practical benefits of Christian modesty.

 

CHICAGO, Illinois (CNN) — It may seem obvious that men perceive women in sexy bathing suits as objects, but now there’s science to back it up.Images of women in bikinis prompted brain responses in men associated with using tools.

New research shows that in men, the brain areas associated with handling tools and the intention to perform actions light up when viewing images of women in bikinis.  The research was presented this week by Susan Fiske, professor of psychology at Princeton University, at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science.

“This is just the first study which was focused on the idea that men of a certain age view sex as a highly desirable goal, and if you present them with a provocative woman, then that will tend to prime goal-related responses,” she told CNN.

Although consistent with conventional wisdom, the way that men may depersonalize sexual images of women is not entirely something they control. In fact, it’s a byproduct of human evolution, experts say. The first male humans had an incentive to seek fertile women as the means of spreading their genes.

“They’re not fully conscious responses, and so people don’t know the extent to which they’re being influenced,” Fiske said. “It’s important to recognize the effects.”

The participants, 21 heterosexual male undergraduates at Princeton, took questionnaires to determine whether they harbor “benevolent” sexism, which includes the belief that a woman’s place is in the home, or hostile sexism, a more adversarial viewpoint which includes the belief that women attempt to dominate men.

In the men who scored highest on hostile sexism, the part of the brain associated with analyzing another person’s thoughts, feelings and intentions was inactive while viewing scantily clad women, Fiske said.

Men also remember these women’s bodies better than those of fully-clothed women, Fiske said. Each image was shown for only a fraction of a second.

This study looked specifically at men, and did not test women’s responses to similar images.

A supplementary study on both male and female undergraduates found that men tend to associate bikini-clad women with first-person action verbs such as I “push,” “handle” and “grab” instead of the third-person forms such as she “pushes,” “handles” and “grabs.” They associated fully clothed women, on the other hand, with the third-person forms, indicating these women were perceived as in control of their own actions. The females who took the test did not show this effect, Fiske said.

That goes along with the idea that the man looking at a woman in a bikini sees her as the object of action, Fiske said.

The findings are consistent with previous work in the field, and resonate, for example, with the abundance of female strip clubs in comparison to male strip clubs, said Dr. Charles Raison, psychiatrist and director of the Mind/Body Institute at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. Raison was not involved in the study.

The broader purpose of the research was to explore circumstances under which people treat one another as the means to an end, Fiske said.

Past studies have also shown that when men view images of highly sexualized women, and then interact with a woman in a separate setting, they are more likely to have sexual words on their minds, she said. They are also more likely to remember the woman’s physical appearance, and sit closer to her — for instance, at a job interview.

Taken together, the research suggests that viewing certain images is not appropriate in the workplace, Fiske said.

“I’m not advocating censorship, but I do think people need to know what settings should discourage the display and possession of these kinds of things,” she said.

Both women and men have something to learn from this line of research, Raison said. Women should be aware of how they are perceived when wearing provocative clothing, and men shouldn’t let feelings of impersonal sexual longing interfere with their more personal relationships with other women, including female friends. “Many men make foolish choices because of sexual attraction,” he said.

“The suggestion might be that there’s some hard-wiring there that can interfere with the average man’s ability to interact on deeper levels with really hot looking stranger women in bikinis,” he said.

Women may also depersonalize men in certain situations, but published research on the subject has not been done, experts say. Evolutionary psychology would theorize that men view women as objects in terms of their youth and apparent fertility, while women might view men as instrumental in terms of their status and resources, Fiske said.

Another avenue to explore would be showing images of men’s wives and girlfriends in bikinis, Raison said. He predicts the objectifying effect would not happen in this context.

The morning of February 5, 2009, an eleven year old Florida girl was on her way to school when two men in their early twenties kidnapped her at knifepoint and forced her into their car.  They took her to a vacant house several blocks away and raped her.  Police suspect these men are responsible for other rapes of little girls.

The evil lusts that fired the passions of these young men are not normal.  In all likelihood they have their roots in child pornography…a growing world plague.  Such sexual crimes are tragic for everyone.  Think of the scars this eleven year old girl will carry for the rest of her life.  And…the two young men will spend many years of their life in prison even if they escape the death penalty.

Last year over a million pages of pronography were added to the millions that already plage the internet.  Parents need to be aware of this threat to their children’s future.  Wise parents keep computers in open areas of the home, have the latest filters installed and closely monitor their children’s computer activities.  Instructions for doing this can be found in my book: Teaching Your children the Truth About Sex.  Check it out: www.drdobbins.com.

Last evening I was having dinner with friends when an anxious mother said, “You’ll never guess what my twelve year old asked me about the other day.”  So, the mother continued to tell me, “She wanted to know all about oral sex.  When I asked her where she heard about it she told me her friends were telling her how much fun it was to do that to boys.”

I was curious about how she managed the question, so I asked her about it.  She said, “Well, I’m really glad I had read your book (Teaching Your Children the Truth About Sex).  Otherwise I would have been shocked and dumbfounded.  However, I just treated the question casually and continued to ask her about how common conversations about oral sex were among her girfriends.  She told me her girl friends talked about it all the time. However, I could tell that my daughter was more curious than involved.  So, I patiently explained to her what oral sex was all about.  Then, I told her that many married people enjoyed it, but some did not.  I made it clear to her that it was only for married people.  We talked about the risks of contracting sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex with people who were having sex with other people.   Then I asked her what she thought of it and she replied, ‘Yuck.’”

Many parents have their heads in the sand when it comes to the toxic nature of today’s sexual world.  They need to be aware of the highly eroticized environment that pervades our  junnior and senior high schools. Children need parents who are willing to carry on a sexual dialogue with them that provides adequate and accurate sexual information and a Biblical value structure within which that information is understood and applied.

 You can’t make your children’s sexual decisions for them, but you can give them the information and moral structure they need to spare them the painful consequences of poor sexual decisions and help them to wisely manage this vitally important part of life. 

This is what my Parents First Program is all about…enabling Christian parents to be the primary sex educators of their children from a Biblical point of view.  Check it out at: www.teachethetruthaboutsex.com.

No one is exempt from pornography’s devastating appeal.  This is the message I convey in my book, Teaching You Children the Truth About Sex.  A story appearing the the Naples Daily news on January 24, 2009 dramatically underscores this fact.

A 49 year old Corrections Officer who had worked five years for Hendry County was arrested and charged with 10 counts of possession of child pronography.  His son, who had been asked to repair his father’s computer, found the images of children 10 to 17 involved in sexual activities to be so shocking that he felt compelled to turn them over to the police.

That a correction officer could be drawn into such a trap demonstrated the devasting addictive power of pornography.  This is why it is so important that children’s use of computers must be so closely supervised. 

The addresses needed to trace your child’s tracks on a computer are given in my book.  To  learn more about how you can protect your children from pornography go to my website: www.teachthetruthaboutsex.com.