Today’s children are naively swimming in a sea of sexual sharks assuming they won’t be attacked.  The media, peer presure and pornographers are surrounding them with sexual temptations.  Unfortunately, many parents are so invovled in economic survival that they are oblivious to the threats that lurk around their children. 

If our children are going to survive the sexual dangers of our world they must have our help!  Here are some statistics that define some of the dangers your children face every day:

In 1940 School teachers across the nation listed these as their top disciplinary problelms: Talking out of turn; Chewing gum; Making noise; Running in the halls; Cutting in line; Dress-code violations; Littering.  In 1990 these were the top ten disciplinary problems: Drug abuse; Alcohol sbuse; Pregnancy; Suicide; Rape; Robbery; Assault.  Many parents are unaware the changes in adolsecent behavior have been so drastic.  If these issues are going to change for the better, there must be more parental involvement.

Approximately one million teens become pregnant in the United States every year.  Almost all of  them    are impregnated by an older male. About 520,000 of these children are born.  405,000 of them are aborted.  80,000 of these teenagers miscarry.

Over forty percent of adolsecents will become involved in a pregnancy before they are twenty.  Eighteen and nineteen year old males are responsibile for about half of these pregnancies.

Estimates indicate that sevety-five percent of pregnant teens have mothers who were pregnant as teenagers.  Ninety percent of teenage prison inmates are products of a teenage pregnancy.

Ninety percent of teen mothers refuse to consider the benefits of adoption.  They keep their babies.  There are no programs to assist teen fathers who want to be responsible for their children.

How can we continue to hide our heads in the sand while uninformed and irresponsible sexual decision are shattering the future of our children?  Let’s do something to reverse this trend.  Let’s start by enabling parents to become the primary sex educators of their children.  Let’s enlist our churches to give the  parentswho want to step up to the plate and assume this responsibility the training they need to succeed in it.

Almost daily we hear of or read reports of men who are facing years of imprisonment for choosing to have sex with children and underage teens.  Although a few of these men may be derelicts most of them are married and have families of their own.  They come from all walks of life: clergymen of all denominations, doctors, lawyers, teachers, college professors, CEO’s, business executives, law enforcement officers, judges, poliiticians, truck drivers, production workers,  etc.

The question I am most frquently asked is, “Why do these very intelligent  men who have so much to lose get themselves involved in such sexually dangerous and perverse activity?”  There are no simple or definitve answers to this question.  However, here some observations that may help to clarify some of  the issues involved: 1. Intelligence has nothing to do with these behaviors.  They are emotionaly compulsive decisions growing out of obssessions about sexuial experiences they believe will provide them more intense and longer lasting sexual orgasms.  2. These men have little or no capacity for spiritual or emotional intimacy and have isolated their sexual pleasures from any permanent  relationships with the persons that chose to use for their sexual pleasure.  3.  They are addicted to sexual feelings and will risk anything to get their “sexual fix.”  4.  Usually their addiction has its roots in a longstanding history of their use of pornography.  5.  Addictions to pornography are more difficult to break than addictions to cocaine.   Wny?  Pornography combines the appeals of all three drug families.  It excites you like the stimulants (cocaine, crack, etc.).  It feeds your fantasies like the hallucinigens (marajuana, peyote, :LSD).  It relaxes you like the opioids (heroin, opium, etc.).

God designed sexual orgasm to form a pleasure bond between a husband and wife that would build a growing attachment between them for life.  The strength and fidelity of this bond makes a vital contribution to the foundation of a strong and healthy family.  When the pleasure of sexual orgasm becomes more important than fidelity in marriage, what God intended to feed a lovebond between a husband and wife becomes a cruel bondage destroying one’s ability to be successfully married to anyone.  What God intended to build a loving bond, the devil has used to create a cruel bondage.

Future generations are going to fall into the same shame and humiliation unless they are taught the truth about sex.  Do parents really care enough about protecing their children from becoming another shameful statistic in the next generation to get involved in the sex education of their children?  Do chuurches really care enough about training parents to be the primary sex educators of the children to assume the role preparing parents for this awesome task?  Infromation about my program: Parents First:Enabling Parents to be The Primary Sex Educators of their Children  can be obtained from my website: www.drdobbins.com or by callng 330-715-5127.

A casual glance at the statistics on this blog site and elsewhere in the media makes it obvious that America’s sexual morals are changing rapidly.  A generation ago, divorce was still frowned upon, there was strong opposition to premarital sex, cohabitation was a disgrace and abortion, except when the mother’s life was endangered, was considered to be murder.

 During the 1960s, premarital sex became socially accepted.  In the 1970s.  Divorce was no longer frowned upon.  In the 1980s, single people who got pregnant bore no personal shame and AIDS began to raise its ugly head.  In the 1990s, sexually transmitted diseases became epidemic among our youth and adultery was seen as regrettable, but expected.  Since the turn of the century, young people who want to save intercourse for marriage are looked upon as “not cool and out of it.”  Having a baby is so common High Schools seldom frowned upon it. And, few college students expect their marriage to last a lifetime.

Secular America seems to be content with accepting sexual permissiveness among youth and adults, abortion on demand, divorce and remarriage and is growing increasingly tolerant of homosexuality and homosexual marriages.  How can such a massive erosion of public morals be reversed? 

The two institutions in our society that have the ability to accomplish this spiritual and moral miracle are: the family and the church.  There was a time in our society when parents could count on public schools as a partner in the moral training of their children.  However, since the Bible was removed from the classroom in the 1960s and our judicial system has distorted the Constitution to mean that all institutions of our society should be free from religion rather than reinforcing the freedom of religion, we can expect a very little help from government and addressing the moral crisis our nation faces.

The sacredness of sex, the sanctity of marriage, and the rights of children to grow up in a secure family is an agenda the religious institutions of our society must address.  Much can be done to restore healthy sexual morality, the sanctity of marriage and the permanency of the family by training parents to be the primary sex educators of their children from a biblical point of view.

I have put together a program for use in the church that can raise a window of hope that the next generation will see a reversal of these regrettable current trends.  It is called: Parents First-enabling parents to be the primary sex educators of their children from a biblical point of view.  Further information about this program can be obtained by calling: (239) 354-1516, or (330) 715-5127.

Your comments about this blog are welcomed.

According to Terry Mattingly’s editorial in the Naples Daily News June 28, 2008, sex outside of marriage is only considered to be sinful by about half of today’s church attenders.  Nonbelievers find such a position as an excuse for avoiding church is.  They considered to be “old-fashioned and intolerant.”  The media and our pop culture have a stronger influence on the sexual attitudes and behavior of the American people than the church. Premarital sex and cohabitation have become widely accepted in our society as have divorce and adultery.

Consequently, young people and adults suffer lifelong consequences of careless and spur-of-the-moment sexual decisions.  Children and young people have very little opportunity in the home or at church to discuss the lifelong, and in some instances the life-threatening, consequences of sex outside of marriage.  Neither do they have the benefits of a lifelong dialogue with their parents about sex.  Almost all sexual information and influences come from outside the home and away from the church.

Isn’t it regrettable that these two institutions most responsible for informing and shaping beliefs about sex among our children and youth remain mostly silent on the subject?  All the while, our secular culture and its powerful media pour their influences into the environment that shapes our children’s views in this vital area of life.

What must happen to awaken parents and the church for their need to counter this destructive impact of our culture on the sexual future of our children?  My Parent’s First Kit offers a positive proactive response to this modern challenge.  For more information call: 330-715-5127 or 330-865-1403.

Recent surveys conducted by two different research organizations found that homosexuality is growing more acceptable in the United States.  This spring, LifeWay (an arm of the Southern Baptist convention) asked American adults, “Do you believe homosexual behavior is a sin?”  What they found was that this question almost splits the American public down the middle.  48% said that homosexual acts are sinful, but 45% disagreed.  Only 39% of Roman Catholics reported believing that homosexual acts are sin.  61% of Protestants assume this position and 79% of evangelicals.

A separate survey conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life approached the issue in a slightly different way.  The researchers asked, “which of the following statements comes closer to your own views-even if neither is exactly right?  1. Homosexuality is a way of life that should be accepted by society.  Or, 2.  Homosexuality is a way of life that should be discouraged by our society.”  50% of Americans said that homosexual behavior should be accepted by society.  Religious groups differed in the way they responded to this query. 79% of American Jews, 58% of Catholics and 56% mainline Protestants said that the American public should accept homosexuality.  Among evangelicals, only 26% call for the acceptance of homosexuality.  27% of Muslims and 39% of its adorably black churches opted for the acceptance of homosexuality.

32% of Americans in the LifeWay survey said they would be negatively inclined toward joining a congregation, who taught that homosexual behavior is a sin.  Among the “unchurched,” that percentage rose to 49. 

Ed Stezer, director of research for LifeWay, said that it is getting more difficult for religious leaders to confront issues like premarital sex, divorce, cohabitation and adultery.  He concluded, “ultimately, the modern church has failed to proclaim and explain a biblical ethic of sexuality.”

 This dramatic shift in our culture reflects the absence of biblical teaching about sex in the home. Parents need to realize that this prevailing moral view is impacting their children in public schools, through the media (especially youth music) and other dimensions of today’s  youth culture.  They must counter these influences in the children’s live by teaching them the truth about sex. 

These changing public attitudes deeply reflect the negligence of the church in equipping parents to become the primary sex educators of their children from a biblical point of view.  But, how can we blame parents for this neglect when the church refuse to step up to theplate and teach parents how to carry out the sacred responsibility of the home?

The is why I am so committed to Parents First…a program designed to teach churches how to enable parents to become the primary sex educators of their children.  The Parents First kit includes my 240 page hardback book, Teaching Your Children the Truth about Sex; an Instructor’s Guide that gives detailed instructions for setting up the program in small groups or as an elective in the local church’s Christian Education program; a DVD containing five minute intros for each chapter; and, a Parent’s Notebook for helping parents indivualize their learning experience.  More information about this program is available by calling: 330-715-5127 or 330-865-1403.

The recent prgnancy pact of seveteen Gloucester, Massachusetts high school students raises the question  of the media’s impact on teenagers.  The publicity given the pregancy of Jamie Lynn Spears suggests that this is a cool thing for teenage girls to do.  This influence is compunded by movies like Knocked Up  and  Juno. These events set up an environment that breeds copycat  behavior…encouraging teens to imitate the behavior of media stars. 

When the fantasy of motherhood gives way to the reality of nursing, diapering and being responsible for the fragile life of a baby any glamor involved quickly fades. The freedom of youth is sacrificed.  The future of the teen is irreversibly changed.  Teenage fathers are sobered by the prospect of being legally forced to be financially reponsible for  their baby over the next eighteen years or more.  Older fathers may face criminal prosecution in addition to their financial obligations.  Not a pretty prostpect!

This all points to the urgency of  beginning to teach very young children the sanctity of life and the sacredness of sex.  It’s too late to start teaching this when children are ready for junior high school.  If parents are to avoid picking up the pieces of their broken hearts and their children’s shattered lives at the bottom of the cliff where poor sexual decisions have plunged them, they must build a security fence at the top by engaging their children in a dialogue about sex from the time they learn to talk. 

Where are parents going to acquire the information and skills for such a task.  What about getting the educational programs of local churches invovled?  That’s what our Parents First program is designed to do.  You can learn more about this program by calling 330 715 5127.    

      

 

 

As many as 17 teen girls in Gloucester, Massachusetts High School agreed  to get pregnant and have their babies together.  They deliberately chose the fathers. Some of the fathers were teenage boys in their school.  However, some were young men in their twenties.  One father was a 24 year old homeless man in the community.

Under Massachusetts law, having sex with anyone under the age of 16, even if it is consensual is considered to be statutory rape.  This means that all the fathers are in serious trouble with the law.

There is a controversy in the Gloucester High School over the administration’s refusal to allow  the school’s health clinic to distribute condoms confidentially to teenagers.  Two of the school’s health care staff resigned in their opposition to that policy.  There contention is that some of the 150 pregnancies that occurred in the last academic year among the 1200 students in the high school could have been prevented.  However, a change of policy would not have helped these girls.  They did not want condoms.  They wanted a baby!

Something deeper is going on here.  The mechanics of contraception will not remedy a lack of moral values.  What kind of values are being communicated to these students by their familes and school?  Have their parents tried to be invovled in their sex education?  After all, doesn’t sex education really belong in the home?  Has anyone tried to communicate to these teens  the sacredness of life and the seriousness of parenthood?  Are they invovled in any church youth groups?  If so, have those churches done anything to help their parents become responsible sex educators of their children?

Shock and shame are not adequate responses to such a community tragedy.  Something proactive must be done. Parents are struggling.  They know the world is sexually dangerous for their children, but they don’t what they can do to protect them.  After all, chances are their parents had very little to say to them about sex.  What about churches training parents to be the primary sex educators of there children? What do you think?     

The old-fashioned way of dicovering whether or not a boy liked you was to pass notes in study halls.  However today, according to Associated Press writer Stephanie Reitz some teens are going about it by sanpping nude pictures of themselveson on their cell phones and e-mailing them to ther boyfriend or girlfriend. 

Her article appearing in the June 5th edition of the Naples Daily New reports this practice is spreading across the country with cases being reported in Connecticuut, Alabama, New Jersy, New York, Utah, Texas and Pennsylvania. Teens are unaware of the possiblity of criminal charges growing out of this activity.  For example, a 17 yeear old LaCrosse, Wisconsin boy found himself facing charges of child pornography, sexual exploitation of a child and defamation when he allegedly posted nude pictures of his 16 year old ex-girfriend on MySpace.com.

In another case, several teenage girls from Syracuse, New York sent naked pictures of themselves to their boyfriends.  You can imagine how  shocked they must have been to  discover that these pictures had been shared with another teenage boy who was attempting to market a DVD of them.

Teenagers need to be warned that these pictures can spread like wildfire.  Their parents need to be aware of these practices and the legal implication they face since, in most cases, they own the phones used to take the pictures.

 

 

Here we go again!  Today, (May 31, 200 the Naples Daily News carried a story reporting the disciplinary action taken by Collier County against several male employes whose government issued computers were found with sexually explicit material on them.

We are not a large community.  However, this story exemplifies what is happening all over our country.  These local men are facing reprimands ranging from days of suspension to the termination of their jobs.  It is hard to imagine the embarrassment their spouses and families are experiencing.  They represent a small sample of men across our country who are caught up in this kind of shameful behavior.

In all likelihood, these men began to view pornography on the Internet when they were very young. The pornographer’s largest market are males from 12 to 17 years of age. This underscores the need for parents to inform their sons of the dangerous risks pornography poses for them.  Pointing out these risks should be part of a healthy biblical sex education for their children.  My latest book,Teaching Your Children the Truth About Sex, provides parents with practical helps for engaging children in a  dialog about sex from the time they learn to talk until after they are married.  It contains valuable information about the pornographic industry that should be shared with their children at the appropriate time.

The home, not the public schools, is the institution best suited for providing children with a sound moral approach to sex education.  Churches can help by offering parents an elective in their adult Christian education programs designed to enable parents to serve this vital role in the lives of their children.  Our  Parents First Program is ready made for churches who are willing to assume this vital investment in the sexual future of their children.  The kit includes: my book, a five to six minute DVD introduction for each session, an Instructors Guide and a Parent’s Notebook.  The book and the kit are available from my website www.drdobbins.com.

I welcome your comments about this post and the others found on this blog site.

 

Baby Think It Over is the latest secular approach to discourage teenage sexual behavior.  Students are required to care for an anatomically correct  baby computerized to demonstrate an unpredictable nature.  It cries at unpredictable times.  Students have to insert a key in order to soothe the baby.  If they get rough with the baby a microprocessor records what happened.  Many schools have adopted the: Baby Think It Over program.  Although this approach does help kids to “think it over”, there is no convincing evidence that it delays their sexual behavior.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy concluded that teens’ own sexual beliefs, values, attitudes and intentions are the most strongly related to their sexual behavior… not the kind of they get in school.  Where do teens learned their beliefs, values, attitudes and intentions about sex?  Primarily, in their homes. 

Parents play the major role in the moral education of their children.  This makes the pregnancy of TV star, Jamie Lynn Speer and important teachable moment for the alert parent.  However, sexual values and attitudes begin to be learned at a much earlier age than parents assume.

This is why I am stressing the importance of beginning a child sex education as soon as they can talk.  In my book,Teaching Your Children the Truth About Sex, I stress the importance of carrying on a lifelong dialogue with your child.  I identify for parents several teachable moments in the child’s growth and development and model for them conversations they can have with their children.  The earlier this dialogue begins, the greater the likelihood it will shape the child’s beliefs, attitudes and values about sex.  You can learn more about my Parents First on my website: www.drdobbins.com.